Childhood
I remember having eczema from a very young age. I can remember the pain, discomfort, relentless itching, bleeding, cuts, rashes and sleepless nights. As well as being lathered in sticky and smelly creams.
As I grew older, I started to fully understand exactly what my skin condition was.
The pain was unbearable at times, but despite this I was a happy, energetic young child.
However, at school I was sometimes called ‘scabby’ or ‘flaky’.
I was by no means, the only child at school to have eczema.
Eczema after all, is a common skin condition.
To no avail
Even though I enjoyed a relatively happy and carefree childhood, my eczema was always present, giving me very little respite.
I remember the daily application of steroid creams, ointments and emollients, and if I ever became infected the antibiotic tablets.
Despite all the treatments and medications, my eczema persisted and continued to cause me great pain and discomfort.
At that time, my mum began researching alternative things for me to try such as changing my diet, only wearing cotton and I also remember going through a stint of swallowing a teaspoon of cod liver oil once a day. Which, to be frank was disgusting!
Anyway, none of it worked and my eczema stayed with me throughout childhood.
As well as enduring eczema, I also developed hay fever and a life-threatening nut allergy.
The awakening
The awakening for me was, quite literally, exactly that!
I woke up one morning and the first thing I realised was that I wasn’t feeling at all itchy and didn’t need to scratch my skin ferociously, like usual.
I went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and saw this fresh face with clear skin looking back at me. My eczema had completely vanished, seemingly overnight!
I was about thirteen years of age.
From this point on, I manged with over-the-counter moisturising creams. The days of pain, discomfort, violent itching and scratching, blood, flaked skin, cuts, rashes and weeping were over, or so I thought.
A few thoughts on eczema
Eczema brings with it, many challenges. When it flares up, the condition can be incredibly painful.
Then you have the issue of stigma and lack of awareness or understanding from others.
Combining the physical discomfort with some people’s prejudice can take a great toll on one’s mental wellbeing.
It’s difficult to explain the intense itchiness eczema causes to people who don’t have the condition.
Frustratingly, different seasons bring with them different complications. For example, the summer months bring warmer temperatures, with the heat causing irritation and discomfort resulting in itching.
Winter brings its own issues. Central heating can dehydrate and dry out the skin, resulting in you’ve guessed it, itching.
Leaving the confines of a warm house and stepping out into the cold air can cause the knuckles on the hands to split open, resulting in deep cuts.
When feeling itchy and uncomfortable, the best advice is too ‘pat’ the skin and not to itch or scratch but, the reality of this is almost impossible.
It’s difficult to explain the intense itchiness eczema causes to people who don’t have the condition. I suppose a way to describe it, is that you feel as though ants are crawling all over your body and that your skin is on fire.
The flare up
It was July 2020, aged 43 that my eczema made its return, in the most brutal and unforgiving way. I was covered from head to toe.
I couldn’t believe it. In all honesty, I could have cried. It blew up from nowhere and I was suddenly itching and scratching all over, causing cuts, bleeding and major weeping.
I would wake up in the morning and the bed sheets were littered with dead skin and saturated in blood stains. It was a traumatising time for me, because I had not suffered from a flare up in so long, so I did not have any medication to hand. To make matters worse, it was the height of Covid.
I attempted to explain in vain over the telephone, just how major the flare up was, but all I was prescribed was a relatively low percentage steroid cream. Which I knew, would simply not be effective.
By August restrictions were lifting to social distancing, and I was able to sit in my parent’s back garden, albeit two metres apart, to celebrate Dad’s Birthday.
It had been the first time, in a long while that my sister had seen me beyond a laptop screen, and she noticed just how severe the eczema flare up was.
It was a hot summer’s day, and I was wrapped up in a winter coat, shivering. My skin was noticeably in a bad way, and I was struggling not to scratch.
I ended up in A&E and upon an examination, there were major concerns over how deep the lacerations located all over my body were, with the potential to lead to sepsis.
The NHS worked tirelessly to bring my eczema under control and after a few days, it did seem to ease. I was able to meet with the Head Dermatologist and we discussed what could have caused such an aggressive resurgence.
The pollen count had been incredibly high, I had just started a new job when Covid and the restrictions started, and I was still left devastated by the bullying encountered a few years prior.
It’s important to realise is that as we get older, our skin can become drier and more difficult to hydrate, making it likely to trigger a return of eczema.
Four years on and my eczema is still incredibly troublesome, but in no way as angered as it was in 2020.
I think it is important to understand how eczema can affect mental health.
I am an NHS hospital outpatient and have been placed on Methotrexate tablets. I am back on the steroid ointments and creams that I remember from my childhood.
Once highly active and an avid hiker, nowadays I rely on the use of a walking aid.
I think it is important to understand how eczema can affect mental health.
Being exposed to prejudice and having such a traumatic return of eczema, has resulted in a diagnosis of depression of which, I am currently awaiting treatment for.
The future
I plan to continue to raising awareness about eczema, in the hope that everyone can one day understand the impact it has on people and their mental health.
Having recently seen new medication being made available on the NHS, I am keen to see if this could be beneficial to myself.
I think organisations such as National Eczema Society are doing great work in supporting those of us who have it.